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Top Ten List of Reasons Why the Phillies Will Once Again Stumble Towards Medicority!

1. The pitching stinks.

2. Pat Gillick knew Babe Ruth's great grandfather.

3. Alright, the relievers are OK --- some of them anyway --- and Myers' is developing nicely, but Gavin Floyd? Cory Lidle? You're killing me.

4. Do you think Charlie Manuel know what state he currently works in? That's right: denial.

5. Abraham Nunez isn't fit to hold Tomas Perez's sweaty gym socks.

6. Back when Ryan Franklin used to be just run-of-the-mill bad, he used steroids. Now, he doesn't.

7. Two months of Alex Gonzalez, we all got to discover, is two months too long!

8. The starting pitching stinks. I mean really, it is not good! Bad! I'm talking really just turn-your-head ugly!

9. You know who I hate? The Mets.

10. Ryan Howard can't also play catcher and third base while he's playing first, much to everyone's surprise.

P.S. If you think this is some sort of attempt at painfully unfunny reverse jinxing, you are of course perfectly right. Give yourself a star!

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