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Top Ten List of Things We'd Never Know If It Weren't For Movies

1. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

2. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

3. When you see a television new bulletin, it usually contains a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

4. Cars that crash invariably explode or burst into flames.

5. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective in the middle of an important case, or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

6. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

7. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

8. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

9. If you decide to start singing in the street, everyone around you will know all the words.

10. It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.


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E-mail: dixonaf@lafayette.edu